Have you ever felt like something was so far out of reach that you didn’t dare even HOPE it would come into your life?
Talking with a client recently I learned that he desperately wants to move into a large home in an affluent neighbourhood (in a warm climate). Right now he’s deep in debt, working at a job he hates and living with family members he’d rather not be with, because of his financial situation.
I’d love to see him adopt a two-step approach to moving towards the home of his dreams. Here’s the proposed plan. If he follows through with it, it’ll help him move closer to what he wants. It will help with ANY goal you wish to attain.
STEP ONE
First of all, get in touch with how believable your dream is (to YOU). Close your eyes, take a deep breath or two and repeat the following statement: “I could never have (insert your dream- a happy marriage, a million-dollar house, a body that weighs 120 lbs.,an income of 170,00.00)”. Then “see” what number comes up for you, on a scale of 0-10.
If the number’s over five, you’d be far better served by reaching for something more currently believable. Try out some other phrases (” I believe I can date a wonderful man, live in a bigger apartment,weigh 140 lbs, earn 70,000″)
Repeat the process until you “see” lower numbers after measuring the truth of the belief that you “could never have (insert your dream)”.
When the number is lower than five, start tapping, using the set-up phrase…”Even though I could never have (insert your dream)..I deeply and completely accept myself”. Do a few rounds of EFT until the level of intensity around that belief gets down to a “0”. This process could take you into more specific limiting beliefs-just keep tapping if more issues surface. I suggest tapping AT LEAST once a day for something that you really want to shift.
STEP TWO
Visualize. With EMOTION.
Imagine what it is you want, as if it already exists in your life, and really get into the feeling that “having” it will evoke. Use a vision board if that appeals to you, or write out your visions on index cards and post-it notes and leave them where you can see them. There are many tools for visualizing-use what feels easy and fun.
Sure this process may take time, and may initially feel more demanding than some of the more over-simplified Law of Attraction techniques. But persistence pays off, and if you follow through with EFT and visualization you’ll GET RESULTS!
A little side-note: A significant amount of tapping helped me earn the Certification seal above (Feb. 2010). Gary Craig, EFT founder, notes: “This is the only valid EFT certification, and it is available directly from the EFT source. It is designed to identify practitioners who have invested the time and effort to learn the official EFT applications and use that knowledge in practice with their clients.”
Many of us seem to feel there’s not enough, at least occasionally.
Eighteen months ago, my Mom passed away quite suddenly. Although she was over 80, losing her like that was a shock. Each one of us in the family has dealt with the ensuing grief in somewhat different ways. My Dad, for reasons I haven’t yet grasped, has withdrawn from me and my children. Presumably, separating himself from us is part of his grieving process. Nevertheless over the Christmas season I felt myself sinking into profound sadness , feeling that I’d lost both parents.
Now, a few weeks later, I’m feeling better… I’ve had a couple of lightbulb moments, and I’m reading a wonderfully timely book that’s helping me to put this into perspective.
In my practice as an EFT practitioner, I’ve encountered lots of women and men who say they aren’t getting the love they want , or they’re not getting it from the people they should .
In Mike Dooley’s new book “Infinite Possibilities” I came across the following: “If your desire or dream is to win over someone’s heart as a means to achieving your own happiness, somehow you’ve come to believe that your happiness depends on the approval or the company of another, which simply isn’t true.”
Also: “If this lesson isn’t learned, your peace and happiness will never be stable”. Although Dooley was referring to romantic love, both statements hit home with me personally as I reflected on my desire for my fathers’ approval and attention. And I could certainly see how these words applied to anybody who’s still trying to “get” parental love. Everybody has limitations, including parents. And sometimes, even if they “love” their children, their abilities to express that love are limited.
So where does that leave us? For me, it involves accepting limitations (EFT helps here) and then acknowledging that there is MORE THAN ENOUGH love in the world . I experience that love every single day. It really doesn’t have to come from one particular person. It comes from my husband, my children, grandchildren, friends and on good days from a spiritual connection within. Love is all around us-we would do well, I think, to focus on that.
This one’s in honour of my Mom, who passed away one year ago today. She was a vivacious fun-loving woman who had dreamed of becoming an actress. She had a voice that drew people to her like a magnet. With it, she soothed crying children, comforted friends and strangers and I suspect “inspired” the imaginations of most men! Two weeks before she died, after listening to her voice mail message, I told her ” I hope I sound that sexy when I’m 81. ” Mom left a legacy of caring and sharing and humour. We miss her, and continue to be inspired by her. I’m dedicating my video to her-I really DID it Mom!
Lesson from my father: If you fall off the horse, just get back in the saddle
Last August, after struggling to keep my coaching business growing in the midst of some pretty challenging family stuff, I decided I needed a part-time JOB. Thankfully, that job paid the bills for a year. It also ate up much of my time and energy and my own work pretty much sat on the back burner.
Two weeks ago, in a kind of sink-or-swim mentality, I left the job behind. I’m back in the saddle, offering more options so more folks can experience the benefits of EFT Coaching.
Lots of learning in the past 12 months. I did continue with a few private clients and started the Sisterhood of the Cosmic Muffin. Other than that, it kinda feels like my business was fallow for a year. And now I “can’t wait” to get going on new projects (and complete the ones that have been lagging behind!)
Here’s a partial list:
a series of guided visualizations (which will be available shortly after my new computer arrives and I’m able to record them)
a YouTube video (the filming’s complete, thanks to an amazingly patient crew and volunteers)
a whole new program for Creative Life Planning
Group EFT Sessions
Continuing Sisterhood events, with the addition of new healing techniques
As always, I welcome your feedback and look forward to working with you in whatever way serves you best.
I spend a lot of time on public transit. It suits me. I’ve owned cars, but I don’t want one now. Time on the bus and subway allows me time and space to focus . I usually do a little bookkeeping , (probably to the horror of my accountant friends). Often I read. Occasionally I listen to a pod-cast (although I still feel self-conscious and somehow vulnerable attached to a headset in a public place). Note to self: somewhere in a drawer at home, I have a teeny-tiny set of earplugs that I could probably plug into the laptop, thus allowing me to look cool instead of weird . It’s a fine line in the GTA. This morning , I’m using my transit time to observe fellow humans and to write.
Those of you familiar with public transit may have noticed that on most days riders (and drivers) are a nasty bunch. Even when not being downright surly and rude, many of them just plain look miserable. You gotta wonder where they’re going, or where they’ve been, to be so joyless.
This morning, on my way to spend the day with two of my adorable grandchildren, I’m feeling pretty good. I got myself together early enough to catch the bus out of Toronto and I’m making good connections between the various modes of transit. On the RT car ( a very cool, very fast subway-like train that runs above ground) I overheard a man a couple of seats down speak to the woman beside him. I don’t know what he said but picked up quickly on his Dutch accent. I’m a sucker for accents; I just love to listen to people whose first language is different from my own. I wished he would say something else and was just about to initiate a conversation with the sole purpose of hearing him talk.
Then I noticed an odd phenomenon. He was SMILING. FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON that I could see, he just kept grinning. I watched him stand up, nod to a couple of people and leave the train, still sporting that LOOK of HAPPINESS. I had to well…smile.
When the train pulled into my station, I was still wondering what the man had been smiling about.
I transferred to a bus for the next leg of my journey. As I lowered myself and my mobile office into the first available seat, a young woman cautioned me”don’t sit there!” Turns out water from the roof of the bus was leaking onto that seat. I love a challenge, so I sat down and leaned forward to avoid the drip. That didn’t work for long, so I tried stuffing a kleenex around the what I thought was the source of the problem. The woman who’d issued the warning smiled . The man who sat across from me offered that maybe gum would work better. He was smiling too. For the next ten minutes, we dreamed up a variety of solutions, none of which worked. As passengers boarded the bus, they joined in the challenge. And they smiled.
And as the bus pulls into my final destination, I find myself smiling FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON.
To those of you who got here through my newsletter link, thanks for checking it out. For anyone who stumbled in here “by accident”, welcome.
This is the story of how I walked 30 km. between Hamilton and Burlington, why I did it, and what I learned from it.
As a former recreational runner, I was excited to discover that long distance “Power” walking is being promoted as a viable athletic activity. I started training through the Running Room in October 2007 in preparation for a half-marathon event at the beginning of March. The training (even during this past harsh winter) was amazing! Everyone in the clinic developed confidence, had tremendous amounts of fun and learned to laugh at freezing rain, snow and slippery slopes. We (five of us hardy souls) completed the Chilly Half-Marathon on March 3rd, tired but elated.
At the urging of my daughter (a dedicated runner) I registered for the 30 km. Around the Bay race, scheduled for March 30th. Actually, my loving daughter “gifted” me with the registration for my birthday!
As race day approached, I was pretty ambivalent about my commitment to participate. The circumstances in my life had shifted dramatically around the middle of the month, which meant my training pretty much went downhill. Although I did make the effort to continue walking most days, the enthusiasm was certainly lacking.
On March 15th, my sweet gentle husband left for work at the usual time and didn’t return. Because he has a severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I knew immediately that he’d gone into what’s known as a Dissociative State and that I might not hear from him for weeks or months. He’s described it as “being in a fog”. Although people in this condition appear to function just fine on a cognitive level, they are “split off from their emotions” and their current reality. In their minds, they’re back in the time when they were traumatized. I didn’t know when or if he would “snap out of it” and return.
Of course, I administered heavy doses of EFT to myself and gratefully accepted support from friends and family. I tried to focus on a positive outcome. Nevertheless my heart wasn’t exactly jumpin’ for joy at the thought of that race.
Ultimately, I decided to participate. I’m not sure why, except that I had also decided to carry on as much as possible with my “normal” life. I made another decison. I would look at this event as a kind of spiritual journey and it would bring me strength.
As I began the walk, waving to my daughter and her boyfriend, I fought back tears. I also told myself that by the end of the course I would have an answer to my question “What can I do to help my husband?”
The race challenged me physically in ways I don’t remember ever having been challenged (well, maybe childbirth!). The wind was strong, and blowing towards us. The route was hilly, especially towards the end.
The scenery however was spectacular. Whitecaps on Lake Ontario. Sun reflected off the snow. Winding hillsides. And the folks in Hamilton were fantastic. On a cold late winter day, they came out in droves to cheer on these crazy walkers and (God bless them!) runners who chose to spend the better part of a Sunday walking between two cities.
I used every trick I could think of to get to the finish line. Visualization. Affirmations. EFT. Chi walking. At 26 km. I “hit the wall”. My body said “I’m outta here”. A part of my brain said “I can’t do this” and another part said “So what are you going to do instead?-go back or just sit down and cry?
The choice was obvious-keep going. The last four km were the most challenging as we dealt with “THE HILL”. People who’ve done this event before had told me about it, and I thought “How bad can it be?” It was bad. Interestingly, at that point I realized that even in my current life circumstances, my choice could be, “just keep going”. It’s always a choice.
I also received the message that my husband was on his own journey, that he would be okay and that he and his Creator would figure out what to do. It wasn’t up to me.
Just before the finish line I saw the faces of two of my perfect grandchildren. I was so elated to see them that I stopped to hug them until my daughter loudly reminded me to “keep going”!
Postscript: I finished the race in four hours and forty-odd minutes. I was barely able to walk for the next week. My husband remained in his fog for another couple of weeks. When he came out of it he returned to Ontario and is now seeking treatment. He gave me permission to share this story and has started a book. We both hope our experiences may inspire others who are facing challenging circumstances. My husband is still on his journey and I’m still on mine and we are blessed to have each other.
Welcome to my new blog-thanks for checking it out. It’s required a degree of courage for me to start this as it’s very personal and therefore authentic. I encourage you to comment on any and all posts and if you wish to maintain privacy, please just send me an email : sue@gentlewindslifecoaching.com
I’m just learning how to do this, so there may be some technical snags and if so, I trust they’ll be easily resolved. In the meantime, thanks for your patience!
The purpose of this blog is to allow for an expansion of my business Gentle Winds Life Coaching. There is a void I believe, in some of the teachings around conscious living. I’ve been studying (reading, thinking about, talking about, listening to ) lots of Law of Attraction work. I loved the “Secret” movie. I BELIEVE we attract what we think about . I BELIEVE our emotional state can pretty much predict what’s going to come into our lives next. I know the techniques; I teach the techniques. The truth is, like everyone else I’m evolving. We’re all at different stages at different times. It’s important (no, critical) to acknowledge “where we’re at” in order to progress. The journey of one thousand miles doesn’t just start with one step, it starts with where we’re standing. So I’ll share with you some information about where I’m standing, in the hopes (and with the intention) that my story may inspire you to do likewise.
I’ll also be sharing information about upcoming events and links that I find useful. This blog will, like all of us on the path, evolve. I will write without editing (how liberating-and scary-is that?) and I invite you to do the same . This isn’t a forum for correctness;it’s a forum for expression. I do however, retain the right to edit any posts that I deem to be harmful to anyone.
Good Vibrations: You have a Choice 